My husband made the coffee extra strong today. When the first sip of black goodness washed past my teeth, I’m thinking, “Oh, sweet Mama! It’s strong today and I need it that way!”
Then, before said sip of black goodness hit that dangly and just plain weird thing that hangs in the back of our throats, I realized I was offended and angry. At the husband.
In that quick of a turn, I went from thankful to vengeful, and no — thank you very much — Day 28 is a few days away, so that doesn’t explain the mood change.
(Although, perhaps I should make a Day 28 shirt at http://www.zazzle.com. See my t-shirt post here.)
I was suddenly mad at him because I realized he made the coffee strong on purpose. His purpose, as in “keep that tired, baggy-eyed, dancing on the tip of a pin crazy wife juiced with caffeine so she doesn’t come after me again.”
Okay, here’s the part where I admit I woke up on the wrong side of shrew today, and sort of, might have, and lo, probably did, bite his head off around the six a.m. hour. In my defense, however, he had asked me a question. I mean, seriously, that early in the morning . . . words were coming out of his mouth. Man, at your own peril.
He quickly backed away, and if had some Holy Water, he would have sprinkled the bedroom with it, the rest of the house, too.
Here’s my thinking, though, before you take his side: We’ve been married for 12 years now and I’ve never not gone hissing, fire-breathing crazy when I’ve suffered a few nights without sleep.
Okay fine! Mea Culpa!!! Mea Sucka!!!
Still tired.
And, the husband did leave me alone for the rest of the morning, even only doing the ASL word for good-bye rather than the spoken word — because by that point in time, even a single word would have been a stick of dynamite in a tub of moonshine.
That’s when I thought he finally understood me. And, I appreciated it.
But then the extra strong coffee! Saboteur!! Covert sneakerton! Sending a message of your displeasure at my behavior through caffeine??!!! Caffeine when I’m tired? What’s next? Feeding me when I’m hungry?
Um, but also thank you, because, yeah, I needed that extra scoop.
